On Thursday March 25, 2010, six month before the wedding, I was laid off. A larger corporation bought out the business where I worked and the new company didn’t “need any of the talents I had to offer.” The timing could NOT have been worse.
According to Kübler-Ross, there are seven stages in the grief cycle,
- Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
- Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
- Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
- Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
- Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
- Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.
- Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.
I took the full tour of the eight stages of grief. I even went back for seconds!
Luckily intercepted the separation letter the day before I was let go. I was able to calm myself and take the news stoically when I was given the letter. The first round of shock lasted about 24 hours.
I had an inclination that I was not going to survive the buy out. I knew it was coming. So, denial lasted about 30 minutes in a dream.
And then came “anger.” The stage of anger took a while. I should have brought an over night bag. I felt betrayed, used, and all around crappy. I think I had three or four helpings of anger…and gin.
I swooshed past “bargaining” - I am WAY too prideful!
I spent some time in the “depression stage,” but it was usually accompanied by anger. I shed a few tears the first few days I was home alone but soon those tears just turned to more anger. Did I mention the gin?
I think that until I’m sitting at a new desk with a new employer, I will still be teetering on the edge of the “testing stage.”
I am now settling myself into the “acceptance stage.” I still visit the anger stage ever once in a while, but for the most part I am moving on, looking for a job, and planning my wedding.
But now there is a whole new wrench thrown into the mix.
The budget I had put together was already over the top, almost unmanageable, and an arbitrary number that was going to be difficult to meet with two incomes…now we have just one. We need to make some major cuts. But where?
Flowers will be at a minimum. We’ve found a way to really cut down on catering costs (stay tuned for those details), and the decorations will be very DIY. Tom will be engaging his marketing skills for part of the DJ fee, same with the photographer. One of my Maids of Honor has so graciously taken on the project of the invites and my wonderful aunt will be making the most marvelous cake on which you will ever lay your taste buds!
In the mean time, the job hunt will continue and I will focus my efforts on corner cutting, DIY projects, and maybe some panhandling on the street corners (kidding…kinda)
Check back soon for the latest.
--Laura
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