To Receive Or Not To Receive

I have moved on to the receiving line debate. Instead of telling you the story I’m giving you the pro and con list! (yes, another list!)

Receiving Line Pros:

• You get to greet and hug every guest at least once
• You are not obligated to seek out guests to make sure you have spoken to everyone
• Yeah….that’s all I got….
  

Receiving Line Cons:

• You have to greet and hug every guest at least once
• I hate excess hugging!!
• It takes and average of 20 seconds per person. 20 seconds times over 200 people. That’s over and hour folks – Do you want to stand in line that long?
• In that time we could be sitting, eating, dancing just about anything other than standing in a line!
  

I have several more but it would probably be inappropriate with our mixed audience.

--Laura

Hotel information

Here is some important information for you out-of-town guests.

There are hotel rooms available at:

[The New] Residence Inn by Marriott (Opening the end of September)
517 West Central Entrance
Duluth, MN 55811-5447
(218) 279-2885
1-800-331-3131
Please reference the following information when you are making your reservation.

MINI-HOTEL CODE: LBW ~ Use this when calling in the reservations (1.800.331.3131)

ONINE BOOKING CODES: ~ Use this when making online reservations

STDO LBWLBWA $129.00 ~ Studio Suite W/Full Kitchen

ONBR LBWLBWC $159.00 ~ One Bedroom Suite W/Full Kitchen

TOBR LBWLBWD $169.00 ~ Two Bedroom Suite W/Full Kitchen

Please note that you will not be able to make reservations by calling the hotel’s direct line at the hotel until after September 23, 2010. Until then please make your reservations online or by calling 1-800-331-3131



There are also rooms at the

Radisson Hotel Duluth Harborview
505 W. Superior Street
Duluth, Minnesota 55802
(218) 727-8981
1-800-395-7046

Let Laura know if you have any questions or are having issues making a reservation!

Audrey II

My biggest stress on the forefront of my mind lately has been “The Schedule”. This isn’t just the “day of schedule” but a schedule from Tuesday the 5th through Saturday the 9th. And we are not talking just one schedule for me to follow. We are talking a schedule for each and every person and detail involved! Flowers, cake, caterer, linens, decorations, tables, dresses, make-up, tuxes, pictures….and the list keeps getting bigger. The list reminds me of Audrey II on the Little Shop of Horrors. You feed it just a little, and then all of a sudden it doubles in size!

Why am I so freaked out about a couple of lists? Well, for one, we didn’t hire a wedding planner to keep the schedule and events flowing. So, I need a detailed plan of events so no matter how forgetful the person, everyone should know where everyone else should be and at what time. And WHEN something goes wrong everyone will know where to pick up and keep the night moving, But without a list they would be a lot of aimless wondering.

Also, we (family and friends) will be doing all the set up work. This is not as easy as it may sound. The lighting will be very interesting. My dad is putting all lighting together for us. Though I fully trust his electrical capabilities, so many things can go wrong—the bulbs burn out, a circuit is blown, etc. Luckily, we do get a head start on the Wednesday before the wedding.

Friday from 1:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. will be the rehearsal and Groom’s Dinner, which gives us minimal time for set up Friday morning. Again, 100% of the set up will be done by the poor saps that volunteered to help! (Thanks guys!) And the only time we can set up tables (including, linens, place settings, and decorations) is Friday morning from 8:30 to 12:00…cutting it close!

I feel like I am orchestrating an event for 1,000 people. We’re at 225, that’s close!

Will They Even Notice?

These centerpieces are the bane of my existence!
Sure, I know what I would love, but unfortunately, what I want will be roughly $200 per table. That’s not going to happen.

I think I have “made up my mind” at least eight times, (poor Tom) but of course three days later I hate the look!

I found another option, it will work, but I can’t figure out exactly how to execute the look. All the flowers are special orders (I can’t just pick up a few testers at Cub) and I can’t find the silk flowers that will really pull the look together. All the while having the worst imagination ever (I do my inner five year old shame) I can not picture how my ideas, color, objects, etc. will meld.

So, if you find yourself at my wedding looking at a empty table, you’ll know I had a melt down and went with the “minimalist” look. (Or at least that's what we'll tell everyone!)

-L

Little Dress Shoppe of Horrors

Oh what a mess! Angela, Jeana, and I went dress shopping. I tried on a few wedding dress, and of course, rather than narrow the prospects down we added two to the list!
I had the girls try on a few dresses…okay like 20. It is really important for the dresses to not look like the typical bridesmaids dress. If I’m going to ask several friends to drop several hundred dollars on a dress I would like them to wear it more than once!

We found it! The perfect dress! It’s a lovely dress that met all of my specifications and it looks great on all body types. My heart is set and I tell all of my MOH’s that we have the dress we’ll order in one month.

“The dress is discontinued” said the lady across the counter. Back to square one!

Much to Angela’s chagrin, I put off dress shopping for several months. Every couple of weeks Angela reminded me, in no uncertain terms, that the wedding was fast approaching and we needed to get dresses ordered. “Yes, ma’am.”

Finding a dress to meet my high expectations was no easy feat. I had a long list of specifications that must be met. Hours were spent scouring the internet looking for dresses that would fit the bill…both literally and figuratively.

Angela and I went to a local dress shop to find this illusive dress. “Maybe, no way, definite maybe, NO!, yes, I like that, who would design a dress like THAT?, Oh that’s nice, ew, eh, I’m not showing you this one!” And then, there is was, the dress! “Oh, it’s perfect!” The dress that met all of my specifications and it comes in the perfect color. I am very excited to have “adventure” behind me!

Missing?

Hey!

If you want to here a specific story or you think something is missing, let us know! We’ll be happy to fill in the blanks!

Tom and Laura

Let Them Eat Cake!

For my nephew’s baby shower my Aunt made the most amazing fresh carrot cake bars with whipped cream cheese frosting. One thing you should know about me is that I am not a fan of sweets. Sure occasionally I’ll have a sweet tooth, but never “MUST HAVE SWEETS”.

The first bite in to these bars was life changing. They are deceptively heavy, moist, mind-bogglingly delicious….Ahhh my words will never do it justice! Tom and I took some leftovers home. We literally fought over last bite…it wasn’t pretty.

When I tasted these bars, I knew instantly that these bars would be made into a cake and served at my wedding - come hell, or high water.

My dear guests that do not like carrot cake, I ask that you step outside your non carrot cake eating world and allow my Aunts master piece to take you to a euphoria you have yet to experience.

-Laura

Falling Behind

Well, it’s 71 days until the wedding…YIKES. I can’t help but notice that we have fallen painfully behind with blogging! With that said, I am going to attempt to blog at least four times a week from now till they wedding…just to catch you up on what’s been happening. Stay tuned!

Laura

Laid off.

On Thursday March 25, 2010, six month before the wedding, I was laid off. A larger corporation bought out the business where I worked and the new company didn’t “need any of the talents I had to offer.” The timing could NOT have been worse.

According to Kübler-Ross, there are seven stages in the grief cycle,

• Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
• Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
• Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
• Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
• Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
• Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.
• Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

I took the full tour of the eight stages of grief. I even went back for seconds!

Luckily intercepted the separation letter the day before I was let go. I was able to calm myself and take the news stoically when I was given the letter. The first round of shock lasted about 24 hours.

I had an inclination that I was not going to survive the buy out. I knew it was coming. So, denial lasted about 30 minutes in a dream.

And then came “anger.” The stage of anger took a while. I should have brought an over night bag. I felt betrayed, used, and all around crappy. I think I had three or four helpings of anger…and gin.

I swooshed past “bargaining” - I am WAY too prideful!

I spent some time in the “depression stage,” but it was usually accompanied by anger. I shed a few tears the first few days I was home alone but soon those tears just turned to more anger. Did I mention the gin?

I think that until I’m sitting at a new desk with a new employer, I will still be teetering on the edge of the “testing stage.”

I am now settling myself into the “acceptance stage.” I still visit the anger stage ever once in a while, but for the most part I am moving on, looking for a job, and planning my wedding.

But now there is a whole new wrench thrown into the mix.

The budget I had put together was already over the top, almost unmanageable, and an arbitrary number that was going to be difficult to meet with two incomes…now we have just one. We need to make some major cuts. But where?

Flowers will be at a minimum. We’ve found a way to really cut down on catering costs (stay tuned for those details), and the decorations will be very DIY. Tom will be engaging his marketing skills for part of the DJ fee, same with the photographer. One of my Maids of Honor has so graciously taken on the project of the invites and my wonderful aunt will be making the most marvelous cake on which you will ever lay your taste buds!

In the mean time, the job hunt will continue and I will focus my efforts on corner cutting, DIY projects, and maybe some panhandling on the street corners (kidding…kinda)

Check back soon for the latest.

--Laura

Registries

We're starting to register for gifts, now that our Save-the-Dates are going out with our web address on them! Check out our "registries" page!

http://tomandlauraswedding.blogspot.com/p/registries.html

Planning for Poland begins

I just got off the phone with my Mom. How the woman is able to push my buttons from 4000+ miles away I don't know! Maybe it has something to do with the fact she installed most of them...

For those that don't know, I'm from Poland. I came here with my folks back in the mid-1980's when I was six years old. My parents retired and moved back to Poland in 2005. Sure, being an only child with no family in this hemisphere is tough, but not as tough as planning a wedding on two continents!

Mom had found a possible candidate for a reception location near their neighborhood in the south of Warsaw. "Pub Kreska" looks nice in the pictures and I'm told that it had a very pleasant atmosphere in person. Problem is, it's a bit small. Even though the website says it can accommodate 35 people, I think that may be a stretch. Also, since we're planning to have the reception in January, using their patio/courtyard is probably not going to happen.

Besides, I think it would be much more fun if we could have some sort of historic location closer to Warsaw's center for the reception. Maybe some palace or historic row-house...

--Tom

The Story of How We Met (part 2)

Before you read this, read "Part 1" first!

On October 31, 2003, Veronica and I had plans to attend a University of Minnesota Bulldogs hockey game. Another boy had cancelled on us at the last minute, and we found ourselves with an extra ticket for the game. Quickly, we started to page through our cell phones looking for the right person to fill that empty seat. I was in a bit of a fowl mood since my date backed out on me. Dozens of names scrolled by on my phone, but there was simply no one that I wanted to spend the evening with… until Tom’s name popped up. Vee and I looked at each other and said “Hot Tom?” in unison! (“Hot Tom” was a nick-name we had coined early on.)

Since it was Halloween, Tom had plans for the night, those were quickly dropped when he got the chance to see me again joined me at the hockey game. (note from Tom: Very true - those plans were *quickly* dropped!) Tom dressed as “’70’s guy” and I dressed as a princess. Neither of us even pretended to be into the game.

The evening flew by quickly as Tom and I chatted and flirted that night away. After the game we went to The Green Mill for a bite. The restaurant is in Duluth’s touristy Canal Park district, which is packed with restaurants and clubs, which also means that’s where everyone hangs out. I swear, half of Tom’s friends “just so happened” to walk by the restaurant window, saw Tom, and came in to visit. I felt like the prize lamb at the state fair getting paraded by all the spectators! It was great!

Tom drove me home that night and took his time as he walked me to the door. I thanked him for a wonderful evening. Surprising me with his shyness, Tom hesitated for a moment at the door, then he nerously looked around to make sure we were alone and dipped in for a quick kiss. The first of many!

The Story of How We Met (part 1)

Tom and I made first contact on Match.com in late August of 2003. Just like most profiles on the site, we both said that we weren’t looking for anything serious, just out there because, “…it never hurts to meet new people!”

After exchanging e-mails, we soon graduated to phone calls and texts and long nights on Yahoo! messenger, discussing the latest episodes of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” (remember, this is 2003!) Tom would always make me laugh with his “Queer Eye” lisp!

We decided to get together on Tuesday, October 28, 2009. The Miller Hill Mall Barnes & Noble was agreed upon as a safe place with lots of people. (note from Tom: I always liked bringing dates to B&N because if the conversation went flat, there was always plenty of topics within arms’ reach. Also, I tried to get there early and build a pile of serious-looking literature on a table in the café to make me look smart.)

Despite the fact we had seen pictures of each other; we discussed how we would recognize each other. Because of this wonderful metro guy voice with a lisp, and our mutual enjoyment of Queer Eye, I jokingly suggested he wear purple.

I brought my friend Veronica (Vee for short) for support (just in case). Vee and I watched as Tom walked in the door and down the main isle, wearing his purple shirt. We hid behind the shelf to spy on him just to make sure he was who he said he was. I

recall looking at Veronica all giggley and saying “Ohmigosh! Ohmigosh! Ohmigosh! Leave! Leave!”

Tom and I met over coffee at the café in the store. We made small talk for a bit, and I soon found myself accepting Tom’s invitation to lunch. This is when I had to come clean about my support team (Veronica) waiting in the wings. Tom laughed, admitted to this being a smart plan, and said to have Vee meet us at Applebee’s.

After lunch, Tom, Vee, and I walked around the mall for a few hours, Tom and I arm in arm the whole time. Who knew that I could be this comfortable with someone that I’ve only known in person for barely two hours!

At the time, Vee and I both worked at the mall. So we simply had to visit friends and co-workers to show off my new arm candy! The afternoon came to an end all too quickly and we parted ways without making future plans...

--Laura

(stay tuned for Part 2 coming soon)

Always a Vendor; never a Groom.

(AKA, the Duluth Bridal Show recap.)

I had been a vendor at the show for several years. First, as a wedding photographer myself, then working the booth of a former employer, Great Lakes Aquarium, selling the facility as a reception hall.

I ran my very small photography business from my parents' spare bedroom for several years while in college. Since I didn't need my own "studio," I naturally focused on wedding photography since all shooting is done on-location.

The business was moderately successful and it was certainly interesting work. Of course, this was just before everything went digital and at the time I still shot film. Professional portrait photography went digital practically overnight and those without the capital to invest in upgraded equipment went out of business.

So it was a very interesting Saturday for me, personally. I knew so many of the people working the show from various professional interactions over the years. The funny thing was that even I knew so many of the caterers, facility rental managers and especially photographers, I'd never actually paid attention to how much things cost and how varied all the services were. It was as though I was there for the first time...as a groom.

Anyway, we Tweeted a lot (twitter.com/tlwedding) and took a bunch of pictures - check them out at http://twitpic.com/photos/TLwedding

--Tom

Live Blogging at The Duluth Bridal Show

Just about to walk in!

Follow us on Twiiter as we spend the day at the Duluth Bridal Show:
http://www.twitter.com/tlwedding





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Live Blogging "The Duluth Bridal Show"

"Follow us" as we live blog the Duluth Bridal Show this weekend!

http://twitter.com/tlwedding

[T]

The Proposal (part 2)

Before you read this entry, read "The Proposal, Part 1" here.

. . . (continued from "Part 1). . . After shaking off the nervousness from asking Laura's parents for her hand, I went back to work of setting up the party. Fortunately, I had another 24 hours to again build up courage, this time to ask Laura herself.

The next morning I picked up the pig roaster from London Road Rentals and set the pig to roast with the help of a great friend. (thanks Justin!) The day went flying by as more shopping had to be done, kegs picked up, final lighting installed, etc, etc...

I had invited a wide range of friends, those that I had grown up, gone to high school, college and even business "colleagues" that had grown into friendships. The party had two stages, an"open house" from 5 to 8pm for the more sedate crowd, and the 8pm "drunken revelry" for the rest. I planned to make my move right around 8, so that we'd have the largest crowd.

Naturally, 8 o'clock approached much, much faster than I could have ever anticipated. More and more people started to arrive - some that I had never actually expected would show. With every passing minute and every additional set of eyes, my stomach spawned another butterfly.

When I could no longer stand it, I borrowed a mic from the DJ and asked for everyone's attention. I started by thanking everyone for coming, all those that helped, etc, etc. Then I called Laura out of the crowd to thank her especially for all her help and dedication to planning the party over the last several months. Of course, I quickly started to repeat myself as my nervousness started to show. I wanted to surprise her with the ring, but did not really plan that far ahead.

"If she's going to be surprised, she's can't see it coming," I thought.

So, I asked her to take a bow for all her hard work. This took a bit of doing as she thought I was merely being drunk and stupid. But a bit of coaxing and a hard shove into the middle of the crowd got her to do it. As soon as her back was turned, I dove into my back pocked for the ring box and dropped to one knee.

By the time Laura turned around, I didn't need to use too many words, which was just as well, since I didn't have many left. I'm fairly certain I actually managed to formally ask her to marry me, but I know for a fact that all she managed in response was a squeak. (not unlike her mom...huh)

Kissing and hugging ensued. Congratulations and well wishes were given. Alcohol was consumed.

We're engaged. HOLY SH*T!!

A bouquet showing our colors

Flower types may be different, colors not dead-on, but pretty close... [T]


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The Proposal (part 1)

Proposing to Laura was many years in the making. I had wanted to ask her to marry me for many years leading up to the actual event, but the money was simply not there. Fortunately, I had recently landed a new job and my 30th birthday was fast approaching, so it seemed like it was time to "man-up."

The birthday party was being held at her parents' hobby-farm just north of Duluth. The set up was similar to my 25th birthday five years earlier - we spend a few weekends cleaning up their small barn and lining up all the necessary items - a pig to roast, side dishes, a DJ (thanks Sean!), lighting, extra electrical power, etc, etc.

The weekend of the event came soon enough though, and I had to face the most terrifyingly scary and intimidating aspect of the whole endeavor - asking her parents.

We had asked her folks to vacate the premises for several reasons, not simply to avoid seeing the kind of drunken revelry in which their children would be partaking. But mainly, so that there would be extra room in the house for people to sleep off the evening's activities.

Laura's parents had spent Friday morning getting ready for their trip, making sure their "coach" (RV to the rest of the world) was stocked with everything they needed for their weekend excursion. Last, but not least, they had to hitch up their car to the back of the coach before hitting the road. I was informed shortly before departure that this would happen "at the end of the driveway."

Living in the country, Laura's parents' home is quite a way in from the main road, and is connected by several hundred feet of paved and gravel of what I call "road." However, I soon found out that one man's "road" is another man's "driveway." Naturally, this resulted in me waving good-bye to her parents, realizing the discrepancy in driveway length acknowledgment, and quickly running to find a motor vehicle in which to catch them at the "end" of the "driveway."

Once the "end of the driveway" had been reached, I attempted to assist in hitching up the car while asking insightful questions about the towing rig. ...All the while trying to control my nerves...

When they were ready to set off, I helped Laura's mom into the coach, thanked them both once again for letting us have the party there and tried to think of what to say next. I realized that the easiest way was not to say anything, but let the rock do the talking.

At this point my voice was beginning to crack and my hands were shaking. As I took the ring box out of my back pocket, I think I said something like, "Well, as you know, I love Laura very much..." To the best of my recollection, the next things that happened were:

1) Laura's mom teared up
2) Laura's dad got a big ol' grin on his face
3) Laura's mom ran and gave me a hug while producing a noise best described as "squeaking"
4) Laura's dad said, "I think that means a 'yes.'"

...and then I got called "son."

At this point I was so nervous that I honestly don't remember what happened next. I know a few other happy/teary things were said but there is just no way that I can tell you exactly what happened, except that I went back to the house and slammed a beer.

After I sent her folks on their way, I went back to setting up the party, which was to start in a little over 24 hours.....meaning I had to propose in 24 hours...

(to be continued...)

Read "The Proposal, Part 2" here.

Introducing Tom and Laura

Greetings!

Today is January 1st, 2010 and it is 281 days until our wedding.

We are getting married on October 9th, 2010 and thought it would be interesting to blog about the process. We've already done some planning, so we may have to "back-blog," still, as many of our friends have proven, wedding planning is an adventure and we wanted to share ours with the world.

We look forward to meeting our readers and will post more about us and our wedding in the coming months.

More to come soon!

--Tom